Sex God Method by Daniel Rose
One Line Summary
Become a sex god
If you claim that sex isn’t important or that you don’t care about sex, I’m going to call you a liar. 7 billion people did not get here by accident. A billion dollar porn industry (for both sexes) did not get happen by accident. Can we just admit already that humans are basically perverts?
Sex God Method by Daniel Rose is book about how to improve your skills in the bedroom for heterosexual men. Ladies, you can skip this one unless you want to get some insights about why certain things turn you on and others don’t.
This is going to be a very controversial review, so read the whole thing before you jump to conclusions. Lots of shades of gray and generalizations I’m going to be making. Use your brain.
Why it’s Awesome
Sex God opens with Daniel Rose explaining the social conditioning everyone receives growing up surrounding sex and how it’s currently affecting your bedroom performance. For women, most girls are taught that sex is “bad” and that being promiscuous is inherently “wrong” and lowers their value in other people’s eyes. This narrative is accepted and then perpetuated by the very people who received it, and the cycle continues.
For men, the conditioning we tend to receive is also that a women who sleeps around is not a “quality” women. We also tend to get fed the belief that women don’t really have much interest in sex and that it’s something really only men desire. Women just put up with it and “think about the queen”.
At one point in history, it’s easy to see that this narrative was probably very useful for maintaining social order. But in the modern era of birth control and hook up culture, people are starting to wake up to a more realistic view of reality.
What’s the truth? Well essentially it’s the exact opposite. Women love sex, arguably more than even men. And the fact that a women has had sex with a certain amount of men in the past has zero correlation with her ability to be a successful long term partner.
I’m not saying this because I’m some “go-girl feminist!”. I’m saying this because it’s reality. Anything else is basically denying human nature.
Some guys get mad when they say this. They say that maybe they can buy that women love sex, but they can’t believe that a woman’s sexual history isn’t relevant. So let me clarify the point.
There are certain women who are emotionally damaged. For any women reading this, it’s not you, it’s your bitch friend. These women literally can’t handle affection because they don’t feel worthy of it. Usually this kind of woman will have slept around a lot because any time a guy is nice to her, she freaks the fuck out. But not always. I know girls who have only been with one guy who still think like this.
If you get into a relationship with a woman like this, you are asking for a disaster because she literally cannot accept love. These are the kind of women I would suggest guys stay away from in the long term. There’s nothing you can do.
But a woman who just has sex with a guy because he’s attractive and she’s single and having fun? No correlation. That woman will be as loyal as any other woman in a relationship.
Essentially, the question that should matter for guys isn’t how many guys has this girl been with it’s why is she having sex with those guys? Is she just having fun and doing what humans do? Or is she have issues that she needs to sort out with herself?
An even better question for long term relationships might be what is the character of this girl? This would include everything. How does she view life? How does view herself? If I commit to this girl, is she going to inspire and help me achieve what I want out of life or is she going to be a drain? Because girls have the potential for both.
It’s male insecurity that can’t accept if a woman has a large sexual history, no matter what the circumstances are. You can make all sorts of bullshit arguments from evolutionary psychology that you want, it doesn’t change the fact that if you weren’t insecure that maybe she won’t still like you, you wouldn’t care. End of story.
Alright, I ranted enough about that. Let’s get into the sex.
Keeping in mind social conditioning, Rose then outlines the four basic areas that make for amazing sex: Dominance, Emotion, Variety and Immersion (DEVI).
This is a fantastic model that I love. If you ever have any problems in the bedroom has a guy, you can more than likely trace it back to one of these four factors. Let’s take a look at each one.
Exactly what it sounds like. Part of what makes sex amazing is this yin and yang effect of masculine, dominate energy and female, submissive energy. Before you freak out and call me a sexist, I’m not saying you have to be some one-sided cartoon character. It’s a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere. But as a generalization, we are going to say that men tend to be more masculine and women tend to be more feminine. Was that so bad?
As a guy, you want to make sure you’re brining that dominant, male energy to the bedroom. That might means things like giving her commands, picking her up and moving her, pulling her hair. There’s all sorts of examples. For most guys, this will probably come pretty natural. If you honestly feel you fall more on the submissive side, make sure you find a girl who is more naturally dominant. They do exist.
This is the area I and most guys probably struggle the most. We don’t want to get emotional during sex because it doesn’t jive with our masculine identities. But your sex will never be as good as it could be without it.
You have to let the girl you know you care about her. *WARNING: IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT HER, DO NOT LIE. IT’S NOT WORTH IT. FIND A GIRL YOU DO CARE ABOUT*. But for whatever amount of genuine emotion and caring you have for her, let it out. Don’t hold it in. That sense of caring and deep emotional connection is what is going to provide the yin to the yang of your dominance. She wants both, and so do you.
Too much of anything is a bad thing, no matter how good it was. You might be having the best sex ever, but if it’s the same sex over and over and over, you both will get tired of it. Mix up positions. Mix up where you have sex. Mix up fantasies. Whatever. But keep it fresh.
Variety is probably the area that’s easiest to maintain. As things get stale, you’ll naturally start looking for ways to switch it up. No need to be paranoid.
This is the idea that you and your girl are mentally immersed in the physical act of having sex. You’re present to the moment and you’re not thinking about anything else. In fact, you’re not really thinking or planning at all.
I’ve found the first three areas all tend to flow much more naturally once you have immersion down. Because essentially what Rose is talking about in this whole book is you and your girl letting go. You’re releasing being self-conscious and self-judgment.
When you truly do that, incredible sex happens. Those are times when you finish and you feel like you weren’t even a human being on earth for the last 20 minutes. You were somewhere else, in this bubble that you and her created.
If you haven’t noticed, this is a reoccurring theme on my blog. When “you” become less, you actually become more. By letting go of your petty little self-image concerns, it’s like life can flow through you.
This does create a kind of catch-22 problem when learning how to apply these skills though. Because when you’re trying new behaviors, you’re going to have to think and be self-conscious. So you immersion will naturally be low when you’re new. But as you get better, you’ll make these behaviors automatic and you won’t have to think about. Your immersion will go up.
The rest of the book is Rose explaining very specific things you might want to worry about when it comes to sex like testosterone levels, birth control, etc. I’m not going to go into that here, read the book if you want to learn about that.
Why Does It Suck
Rose takes a pretty hardcore perspective towards sex. I know I spend a major part of this review talking about the importance of sex, but let’s be honest. You could be having the best sex in the world and still not be living a fulfilling life.
So while if you have a shitty sex life I definitely recommend you read this book and try and improve, don’t think it ends there. Sex is one of those things that should be looked at like an added bonus that you get to do on top of an already satisfying life.
There’s a lot of “hardcore player” stuff in here that I don’t agree with either. So if you’re not in that stage, I’d choose to ignore that.
You definitely have to take this book with a grain of salt. Realize that Rose is making a lot of generalized and sometimes nuanced points. For instance, when Rose talks about women loving to be dominated, this does not mean that women want to be violently assaulted. Use your fucking brain.
I can’t go through all of them here. So it will be up to you to find out where the shades of gray are. You may have to experiment to figure it out for yourself.
The Wrap Up
I realize that Rose calls himself a “sex god” but there’s still many ideas you can learn about sex that aren’t in this book. There’s also a lot of ego nonsense in here you may want to ignore if you’re at the point in your development. But otherwise, this is an amazing book.
If you’re a guy and I haven’t sold you yet that you should read this, let me make one final point. The vast majority of guys will refuse to learn how to have amazing sex because every guy already wants believe they already are a sex god. It’s embarrassing and maybe a bit painful to admit to yourself that this is an area you need help in.
But sex is a skill like anything else, and the idea that you just learn it through osmosis is ridiculous. What this means is that a little bit of work in this area will go a long way because no other guy is willing to do it. In investing, you might call this an arbitrage opportunity.
I’m not someone who has spent a lot of time in learning sex. My effort has been minimal. But just that little bit has been huge. If all you do is understand the DEVI model I talked about in the beginning of this review, that will be more than enough to give your girl an experience she can’t get with many other guys. It will make you special in her eyes and it will be amazing for you as well.
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