The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Sit Down and Read
One Line Summary
Embrace your masculine core
Why it’s Awesome
“The superior man is not seeking fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be vanished in the bliss of giving.”
-David Deida: The Way of the Superior Man
This is the ultimate book on how to be a Man. In it lies the secrets to not only mastering women, but mastering your entire life.
I don’t take the word “secret” lightly either. You were not and will not be taught these truths by any mainstream source. It’s only thanks to the internet and the age of endless information that these ideas are starting to spread. You can only repress truth for so long.
Let’s look at the first foundational truth in this book: men and women are extremely different and have very different desires.
To just make this simple generalization in a mainstream context is impossible because it opens the door for claims of sexism. A large public company could use a narrative of “gender differences” to discriminate against hiring women for high level positions. Clearly this would not be a good thing.
But on this blog, we are talking about what is the best mental model YOU PERSONALLY should have of the world in order to get maximum results and happiness. And the modern model of “men and women are exactly the same, gender is only a social construct” is heavily, heavily flawed and causes tremendous personal damage to both men and women.
What’s the reality? As David Deida explains, masculinity and femininity are like yin and yang. Neither is superior to the other. Rather, they are perfect complimentary opposites. And while men and women can fall towards either end of the spectrum, men obviously tend to be more masculine and women tend to be more feminine.
Accepting this is only the first step. Next we have to get into what it is that actually makes masculinity and femininity different.
What David Deida says is that a Superior man is defined by his purpose and a woman is defined by love. If you’re a man, probably 99% of all your relationship problems stem from either you not being on your purpose or your women not feeling love. Everything else is superficial.
Purpose is so critical for a man because it’s what drives us. Boys don’t dream of getting married, they dream of becoming a professional athlete or rock star. But when you’re off your purpose or make your woman your purpose, she knows you aren’t being a man. She can’t trust you to guide her and she knows she won’t be happy with you because YOU won’t be happy.
This means accepting another harsh reality: When you’re on your purpose, you will never love your woman the same way she loves you.
The Way of the Supeior Man is far more though then a guide to women. In a culture that promotes androgyny, this book provides insights into what it means to live a meaningful life as a man.
One insight is to stop seeking comfort and completeness. Purpose is what drives us, but purpose by its very nature cannot be finished. The game never ends. While you may accomplish many goals in your life, there will always be another.
This means surrendering to life itself as a journey instead of end results. After all, the end result of life is to die. Therefore life is meant to lived, not looked at as a series of boxes to just check off.
Even though this book is written for men, women can also get tremendous value from reading this book. You’ll get insights into how men think and what it is you want. Just as men are told they should put their woman ahead of their purpose, women are often told they should put their purpose ahead of their man and love. And we wonder why the genders seem so frustrated with each other these days.
The final thing I love about this book is David Deida’s writing style. It’s not the style I typically use but his use of language is enviable. The Way of the Superior Man is a work of art in of itself.
Why Does It Suck
David Deida makes some very strange spiritual/energetic claims that if you’re a science person will probably make you face palm. For instance, he talks about how different women are either “hot” or “cold” energetically and that changing the clothes you wear can cause you to have different tastes in women. I don’t know about you but I’ve never wanted to date a redhead just because I was wearing shorts.
The Wrap Up
Regardless of whether you are a man or women, this The Way of the Superior Man is a must-read. You’ll gain insights into the other gender that can completely 180 just about any relationship if taken seriously.
It’s time for men to be men and women to be women again. How far does political correctness go that people have to sacrifice the very core of what drives them and makes them happy? It starts with awareness.
Shed the false skin of androgyny and join the rising ranks of Superior Men.